12 retry

last saturday was our 12th wedding anniversay

and i was all ready to put up a wee post

but write as i may

nothing even came close

this is my 5th start at writing something for Y

it will never be right

so here goes

some random notes from the day…

 

6 am

i am half way done applying self tanner

i hear the phone ring in the kitchen

and you answer, softly

so as not to wake any of our sleeping friends

a well named woman called bonnie

and true she was

tells us to go out

and look up

 

moments later there we are

you and i

(me half tanned

one arm sticking straight out

parallel to the ground

so as not to smear the self tan chemical goop)

anyway

back to you and i

there we are

you looking handsome and suave and worldly

leading man kinda guy

and me

looking crazy

girl with crazy crooked arm

in an open bathrobe

and woozy too from chemicals

 

there we be

standing in the front yard of our rental cottage

the beach and sea and garden full of cosmos to our back

the cool foggy rain sprinkled september dawn

coming on

 

and a rainbow

a celestial warning

 

that life might actually be

 

wonderful

 

heartbreakingly lovely

so sweet

you might not ever recover from it

should you

when you

lose it

 

so what,  that my dress was still an unsewn pile of yellow chiffon

delissa was in the kitchen

making ericka a breakfast tray

and between the angels and the future godmother’s to Q

my dress would …

 

well…forget it

not even angels and girlfriends could get that dress sewn up in 8 hours

 

but when you choose your friends well you can get sewn INTO  the dress

‘now we’re really cooking with gas’

sweet delissa softly says

one hour before we are standing in this photo

 

and you can get to the church

and you can…

well, you can do whatever you damn well please

because that’s about all anyone ever needs

is them

and you.

 

and i’m the luckiest of every kind of lucky girl there is

 

and how the others that don’t have D and E and you do it

 

i honestly do not know

 

but i’m glad i do not have to find out

 

oh and one last thing

 

D and E

they love me

might being willing to die for me

will be there for me

but they

would never

ever

live with me

like share the kitchen and the bath and the remote

no

not ever

 

but you do

you keep coming in that door

all these long/short/sweet/crazy/terrible and blessed twelve years

 

and that surely sets you apart from all the rest

and i thank you for that

for putting up with the chemical tan

(‘aint that funny)

and all the rest

 

i would do it all again

every crazy little bit of it

but only if it were with you

 

only this time

no self tanner

and the dress

 

we buy the dress

 

 

only you